I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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