I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
