she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
