I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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