Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
