first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
