the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
