he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
