somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
