he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
