My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
