??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
