her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
