remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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