Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
