Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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