I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
