You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
