Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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