ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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