I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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