my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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