Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
