You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
