You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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