Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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