Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
