you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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