I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Actions speak louder than pants.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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