After last night, I could never be a politician.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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