yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
