tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
