just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
