So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Randomize
