would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
