I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
