so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
