she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
