You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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