Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
