i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
