i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
