i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
