the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
