I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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