how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
