check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm both gender and math confused
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
