Slut skills are useful in every country.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
