rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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