yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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