i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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